got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
