Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
