Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Watching her eat just hurts me
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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