I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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