Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
