based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My vagina just recognized that song.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
