What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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