On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
