Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
