There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
