I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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