Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
