So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
