Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
