well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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