with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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