You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
