like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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