no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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