Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
