She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
