Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
