I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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