The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
