apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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