so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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