She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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