DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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