so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
