So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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