so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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