At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
