i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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