super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
