I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
