Don't make out with my wife yet
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i will never coherently bang her
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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