you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
