i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
