oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
