I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
