Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
