i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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