woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
