That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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