White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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