Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
