what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
