I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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