I am puke
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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