we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
