That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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