i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
