I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You don't make any sense
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